New Year Goals & Resolutions: A Gentler Way Forward
At the start of a new year, many people feel pressure to set resolutions, to be better, do more, or change quickly. For some, this can feel motivating. For others, it can bring guilt, overwhelm, or a sense of falling behind before the year has even really begun.
As a therapist, I often encourage a gentler approach.
Rather than asking “What should I change about myself this year?”, it can be more helpful to ask:
“What do I want more of, and what do I need less of?”
When Resolutions Feel Heavy
Traditional New Year’s resolutions are often rigid and all-or-nothing. They can leave little room for the realities of life — stress, fatigue, unexpected challenges, or simply having a hard week.
If you’ve found that resolutions in the past have led to self-criticism or disappointment, you’re not alone. This doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it may just mean the approach didn’t fit.
Shifting from Resolutions to Intentions
Instead of strict goals, I often suggest setting intentions. Intentions focus less on perfection and more on direction. They’re flexible, values-based, and allow room for compassion when things don’t go to plan.
For example:
I want to respond to myself with more kindness when things feel hard.
I want to prioritise rest and balance alongside productivity.
I want to work towards change at a pace that feels sustainable.
These kinds of intentions can still support meaningful growth without the pressure to “get it right.”
A Values-Based Approach to Goals
One helpful place to start is by reflecting on your values. Values are not things you tick off a list, which is a common misconception. In therapy, we recognise that they’re ways of living that can guide small, ongoing choices.
You might ask yourself:
What matters most to me right now?
What do I want this year to stand for?
How do I want to treat myself when I struggle?
Goals that align with your values tend to feel more motivating and more forgiving.
If You’re Feeling Stuck
If the new year is bringing up anxiety, self-doubt, or a sense of pressure to change, therapy can be a supportive place to explore this. Together, we can work on:
Clarifying goals that feel authentic to you
Breaking change into manageable, realistic steps
Letting go of unhelpful expectations
Building self-compassion alongside growth
You don’t need to become a “new version” of yourself to be worthy of support.
Moving Into the Year Ahead
Whether you’re setting goals, intentions, or simply focusing on getting through the day, there is no right way to begin a new year. Change doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful.
If you’d like support navigating this season, I’m here to help.